Funny Happy New Year Jokes

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New Year Jokes New Year eve jokes Funny Happy New Year Jokes Clean jokes on New Year Happy New Year Jokes

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2018 New Year is coming, If you are looking for New Year Jokes then you are at right place. Large number of New Year Jokes, New Year eve jokes, funny happy New Year jokes, clean jokes on New Year.

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On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.

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To kick start my New Year: I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

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On Nw Yr's Eve, Peter was in no shape 2 drive, so he sensibly left his van in da car park & walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was s2pped by a policeman. 'What r u doing out here at four o'clock in da morning?' asked da police officer. 'I'm on my way 2 a lecture,' answered Peter. '& who on earth, in dair right mind, is going 2 give a lecture at this time on Nw Yr's Eve?' enquired da constable sarcastically. 'I agree, but my wife will,' slurred Peter grimly.

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Jemima was taking an afternoon nap on Nw Yr's Eve b4e da festivities. After she woke up, she confided 2 Max, her husb&, 'I just dreamed dat u gave me a diamond ring 4 a Nw Yr's present. What do u think it all means?' 'Aha, u'll know 2nite,' answered Max smiling broadly. At midnite, as da Nw Yr was chiming, Max approached Jemima & h&ed her small package. Delighted & excited she opened it quickly . Dr in her h& rested a book entitled: 'Da meaning of dreams'.

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When I thought about da evils of drinking in da New Year. I gave up thinking.

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I resolve... I resolve 2... I resolve 2, uh... I resolve 2, uh, get my, er... I resolve 2, uh, get my, er, off-line work theone, to!

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