Ten things you should never say to a transsexual* *Or: the straight guy’s guide to dating a transsexual woman. By Lavinia Sonderberg Beck

I thought it might be worth while introducing myself, just so you know who has written this thing. I’m a transsexual , so when you read this, remember, I’m not making it up, it’s all from experience. I hope you find it useful. The fuzzy picture on the cover is from one of my videos. This one is a picture of me, at Sleaze Ball this year. I’ve included a few other pictures of me and a few links and things ,so you can get to know me if you like. If you’d like more or want to contact me , you can find me at: E-mail: laviniadarling@gmail.com Twitter: @darlinglavinia Hi, I’m Lavinia…

Ten things you should never say to a transsexual* Some guys will see a tranny and it’s like their higher brain functions shut down. It’s like all the blood is being directed elsewhere. You know where . Even the smartest most charming of men can struggle to string a sentence together. And often when they do, they say all the wrong things. Awkward, embarrassing things – they can be deal breakers. It can be hard. But the talking part shouldn’t be the hard part. It’s why I’m going to make this very, very simple. This is a guide as to what not to say to a transsexual girl. Not only will I be helping you hook up, I’ll be helping every transsexual out there who is tired of hearing the same things over and over again. So, here’s the first rule: take time and Think carefully before you say a thing, you can blow the whole deal with the opening line. But you know this already. If needed, you can buy time by winking suggestively and smiling first, it will give you the few seconds needed to remember the short list of guidelines that follow. Besides, a sexy wink and a nice smile is always a good opening gambit, no matter who you’re hitting on. If you get lucky with a tranny after reading this you owe me. Seriously, I’m improving your chances no end. You’re going to want to thank me for this. You can start by buying me a drink. Love Lavinia Sonderberg Beck If you want to know more about me you can check out some of my videos. I make these of my legs for ‘friends’ in Japan, this is a still from one of them. You can find the video here if you want: www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OlDITWqx3k

I figure that if I can answer this question for you now, you’ll never have to ask a tranny, it’s going to save you a lot of embarrassment and rejection, so here it is: No. Very little about us is real. Our names our hair colour, our tans, our eyelashes, you name it. What does it really matter? What is real anyway? This is also a philosophical question, but there’s no way I’m getting into to that. A lot of things about us are not real – but real enough. That’s all you need to know, the rest you can find out for yourself. 1. “Are they real?”

For the record: Men who like trannies are not gay. I’m not gay either. Trannies are not gay. I only like straight men. Gay men are gay. That’s why they’re called ‘gay men’. Gay men are most definitely not into trannies. And we are not into them. When you say things like, “I’m straight you know...”, or “I’m not gay...” it’s like a confession of insecurity. Don’t be insecure, it’s ok. Everything is fine.   We know you are straight. We know that or you wouldn’t be interested in us. We’re glad that you are straight; you don’t need us to validate anything.   I hope I’ve cleared all this up. 2. “I’m straight you know...”

What took you so long? We don’t want to know this. It’s like confessing that you have no idea what you are doing. It’s not particularity encouraging.   If it is your first time, relax; don’t make a big deal out of it. You’re a guy, you’ll figure out what to do. 3. “I’ve never been with a tranny before...” This is me in a red bikini. There’s no real reason for putting this photo here, I just think the page needed it. There’s A video for this one too at: www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcPSuj0d2do

If a man starts off a conversation along these lines it means one thing: he’s basically telling you he thinks you’re a slut.   Think about it this way, would he have asked a nice girl that question? Maybe not that particular question, but you know what I mean – such a direct personal, intimae and sexual question? No.   I’ve met so many men that will hit on me, tell me how ‘not gay’ they are, and then ask how big my !@#* is. For my money, it counts as two strikes. Besides being low rent, it’s like confessing that you are a selfish lover. It’s an admission that you’re fixated on your fantasy and not on the lovely transsexual girl sitting next to you. 4. “How big is your !@#* ?”

Strike three. I’m not going here. Sorry, I just I hate repeating myself. Refer to the answer for the previous question. 5. “Can you still get it up?” This is a still from another video, it’s me in a bikini with some whipped cream, it’s a long story, check it out at: www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZwBlnW6p54

Good for you. While it’s nice to know, we’ll ask when we want to know. It’s also vulgar. Vulgar is a turn off. Also, if you’re relying on the size of the thing to close the deal think again. Yes, it’s good that you’re a big boy, but frankly, it’s not a dealmaker. And you know what they say ‘... it’s what you do with it’. Playing the ‘big’ card early in the piece is like placing all your cards on the table. It’s like saying ‘I can’t offer you much in the way of charm, company or conversations, but I do have this big thing down here...’ There’s a time and a place for this kind of information, if we want to know, we’ll find out. 6. “I’m (insert number) inches”

This is a self evidently stupid question. And you don’t want to look stupid right? It’s also one of those metaphysical questions. You could say transsexuals are born transsexual; we’ve always been transsexual, that’s who and what we are. So the answer is ‘no’. But the answer, by another definition is also yes. So unless you want to have a philosophical question and unless you’ve got a brain like John Raulston Saul or Alain de Botton, it’s a discussion we’re not interested in having. 7. “Did you used to be a guy?” A random web-cam image, you can find more at: www.filthytranywhore.com

You can refer to the answer above for this. The answer is the same. Also, what does it matter? It’s intrusive and unnecessary and you really want to avoid awkward moments with us. 8. “How long have you been a tranny?”

Asking this is not the ideal way to find out; this is like confessing that you are a selfish lover. It’s an admission that you’re fixated on your fantasy and not on the stunning transsexual next to you. If you want an answer to this, the best strategy is to be charming and buy the drinks, you just may find out for yourself. 9. “Have you had the operation?” This is from a video that can be found here, it’s just me being an exhibitionist, again: www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4ga9Ojo0AE

This is like confessing you have a wife and three kids home waiting for you. Or a girlfriend who has no idea what you really fantasise about. Or that you live with your parents. It can mean many things. None of these things are good things. . 10. “Can we go to your place?” Another still from another one of those ‘Japanese’ videos: www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufe0RBwccoc

Asking this is like telling a girl that she looks like a prostitute. This is never considered a compliment. Even if it is true. Most transsexuals are not, it’s a mistake to associate being a transsexual with being promiscuous or being a prostitute, we’re mostly just regular girls looking to have a nice time. If there is price negotiation to be had, you’ll find out. 11. “Are you working?”

  When it comes to hooking up with a transsexual girl I can make this really simple for you, I have one piece of advice that will help nearly every time, and it’s this:   Treat us the same way you’d treat any other girl.   It’s that simple, if you wouldn’t say it to a girl; don’t say it to a tranny.   Because that’s what we are, we’re just girls. And we are as easy to hurt and offend as any other girl. Be gentle, patient, kind and respectful and we will like you for that. One simple rule Another random web-cam image, you can find more at my blog: www.filthytranywhore.com

One day soon you’ll be at a bar or a club and you’ll see the most amazing transsexual girl. She will be stunning. Everything you’ve ever dreamed of.   Before you race over there and say anything stupid, you’ll take a nice deep breath, flash her a winning smile, wink playfully, and remember everything I’ve told you.   And you will have a lovely time.   And if you’re really, really lucky, that girl will be me.   And if it is, remember, you owe me a drink.   Good luck. Love.   X   Lavinia   That’s it...

  Thank you   If this was useful, you could do me a favour- you can re-post it, forward the link, cut and paste it, re-publish it, anything is fine by me; you have my permission, just as long as you credit me and publish my e-mail address. It’s just that I’m trying to get a book deal and being just a little bit famous may help, or so I’m told. Other wise, it’s all copyright © 2010 Lavinia Sonderberg Beck. If you are an agent or publisher, or know one, please let me know, I could do with a contact! If you want you can also read the diary that I’ve turned into a book, it’s at my blog www.filthytrannywhore.com You can also find me here: E-mail: laviniadarling@gmail.com Web: www.filthytrannywhore.com Twitter: @darlinglavinia YouTube: www.youtube.com/user/laviniadarling?feature=mhum Thanks again   X   Lavinia Sonderberg Beck Sydney, September 2010. Another random web-cam image, you can find more at: www.filthytranywhore.com