Facing Change By Avinoam Lerner, CH

The Problem with Change We find change disorienting and anxiety producing… it is similar to the unease we feel when visiting a new place because of the absence of the familiar cues we took for granted back home. With an established routine, we don't have to think! And thinking is hard work. So, what do we do? We resist change.

How Do We Resist Change? We tend to respond to change the same way we respond to anything we perceive as a threat by entering the state of Flight or Fight. Our first reaction is flight; getting ourselves away from the problem and avoid it if we can. Another option is to fight change. But fighting change is like fighting windmills, it’s a futile fight because change is inevitable, the outcome is much unnecessary stress.

Life & the Illusion of Control: There are many things in our life that we have don’t have complete control over, health, aging and the weather are just some examples. The lack of control we experience may cause us to feel helpless and hopeless. Overtime we construct negative thought pattern and negative habits that will keep us in the vicious cycle of resistance and deflated mood.

Change is inevitable: We all change, whether we like it or not. Some change is physical and obvious, as in aging. Other change is subtle and takes years, as when some husbands and wives grow apart. Regardless of its obviousness, nothing stays the same. ~ Ronald Pitzer

Change can be positive or negative: Positive change is when one establishes a weight-reduction program and achieve their goal. This change result in better health and improvement in appearance. Negative change, too, is widely apparent. No child is born a criminal, yet the social conditioning a child experiences may promote destructive patterns in the person's behavior. ~ Ronald Pitzer

Change is a choice: "Not making a decision is making a decision." Choosing to change is a conscious, rational choice. Choosing not to change is also a conscious, rational choice. What's important is why we would choose to change or not to change. A college student once said, wisely: "For how I am, shame on my parents. If I stay that way, shame on me.” ~ Ronald Pitzer

Change = Satisfaction Change is most satisfying when the individual chooses to change. At times change is forced upon us. We receive ultimatums from family, friends, and employers. People who make New Year's resolutions (and keep them) chosen to make changes in their own life and therefore feel more satisfied and content with their lives. ~ Ronald Pitzer

Another Way to Look at Change: Change can be the means to your goals, not a barrier to them. Both fight and flight are reactions to perceiving change as a threat. But if we can change our perceptions of change from a threat to improving our lives, we can avoid those reactions altogether.

Secret # 1 to Coping with Change: Get the big picture. Sometimes, not only do we miss the forest because of the trees, but we don't even see the tree because we're focused on the wood. Seeing the big picture help us cope with change because we become aware of the benefits or desired end result.

Secret # 2 to Coping with Change: Do some anchoring. When everything around you is in a state of flux, it sure helps to find something stable that isn't going to change, no matter what. Each one of us has personal values that are significant and permanent which can serve as anchors to help us ride out the storm.

Secret # 3 to Coping with Change: Keep your expectations realistic. Sustain a sense of balance in your life by seeing things in their true perspective. You can still maintain an optimistic outlook, but aim for what is realistically and attainable. This way, the “negatives” that come along with change won't be so overwhelming, and the “positives” will be an adrenaline rush.

Secret # 4 to Coping with Change: Develop your own, personal change tactics. Get plenty of exercise, plenty of rest, and watch your diet. Even if you take all the right steps and follow the best advice, undergoing change creates stress in your life, and stress takes energy. Keeping this in mind, you can compensate by taking special care of your body.

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