Finding Relief: Patients, Caregivers and Families Navigating the Emotions Associated with Life Altering Medical Conditions Health Maze Navigator, Family Counseling, Inc. © 2011

Seminar Goals: Awareness What it was like. What happened. What it’s like now. Action Learn self-care techniques that enable your wellness. copyright 2011 Health Maze Navigator, Family Counseling, Inc. 2

Body Mind Connection: Most people who experience life altering medical conditions and the trauma of treatment sustain profound changes in their life perspective. Anxiety and depression can be severe and long lasting. copyright 2011 Health Maze Navigator, Family Counseling, Inc. 3

Body Mind continued Connecting the dots, the body remembers Where in your body do you experience fear or anxiety? Understanding the loop of thoughts and feelings The power of imagination copyright 2011 Health Maze Navigator, Family Counseling, Inc. 4

Your unique energy system: Capacity: “Normal” evolving to “new normal” What’s in your tank? Patients - adjustment to physical and emotional dynamics Family – adjustments to more tasks and the emotional drain copyright 2011 Health Maze Navigator, Family Counseling, Inc. 5

Change in Identity: I am not who I was, I don’t recognize /like/understand where I am going. How you are seen may not be how you feel. copyright 2011 Health Maze Navigator, Family Counseling, Inc. 6

Change in Identity continued The unfolding of the patient’s existential crises 1953 Webster’s Dictionary definition “The individual’s responsibility for making himself what he is.” Wikipedia – The introspection of personal mortality. A person can and does define the meaning and purpose of their life and thus choose to resolve the crises of existence. “If I don’t know who I am I am lost in how I am in relationship to you.” -Joni Metolius copyright 2011 Health Maze Navigator, Family Counseling, Inc. 7

Men and women have different emotional responses during and after trauma and life altering medical conditions: · What are the differences? · How are these expressed? copyright 2011 Health Maze Navigator, Family Counseling, Inc. 8

Traumas experienced by care givers in their stressful roles cause brain chemistry changes: What happens? Why it happens? copyright 2011 Health Maze Navigator, Family Counseling, Inc. 9

Caregivers, Stress and Brain Chemistry continued Anticipatory grief Care Givers Bill of Rights – short version Serenity Prayer – short version copyright 2011 Health Maze Navigator, Family Counseling, Inc. 10

There is a solution : · For patients · For caregivers · For the family and friends copyright 2011 Health Maze Navigator, Family Counseling, Inc. 11

Mental Coping Strategies Write it out, a problem solving approach Talk it out, brainstorm with loved ones or a qualified therapist to get input and ideas Shift from fear of the future into here and now needs Structure your time Remind yourself of your abilities and strengths Read or listen to inspirational works copyright 2011 Health Maze Navigator, Family Counseling, Inc. 12

Emotional Coping Strategies Reach out to people who care a. Identify feelings and fears b. Talk out your thoughts and feelings with a trusted friend or qualified therapist Write out your feelings Recognize anger as a secondary emotion covering up fear, hurt or feelings of powerlessness Be cautious not to take your anger out on friends and relatives, talk it out in therapy copyright 2011 Health Maze Navigator, Family Counseling, Inc. 13

Fighting Back Against Negative Thoughts Consider the evidence, or lack of evidence that you have to support your beliefs. Ask yourself if you know for a fact that your one thought is true. What other explanations could there be for the situation? What other factors could have contributed to your situation? Consider all the possibilities of how your situation could turn out. Remember – nobody’s perfect. Don’t set unrealistic expectations for yourself or for others. Give yourself credit for your efforts and your accomplishments. Don’t make hasty judgments when you are upset. Instead, try revisiting situations when you can be in a more positive mood. Replace negative thoughts with ones that are more positive. Use phrases such as “I will,” “I can,” or “I choose,” and you might feel better. copyright 2011 Health Maze Navigator, Family Counseling, Inc. 14

Fighting Back Against Negative Thoughts continued Example, “It’s hopeless” may be replaced with “I have the power to control how I handle this situation, and I choose to…..” Believe in yourself to do the best you can. Use your imagination. See yourself or someone else dealing with the situation in a positive way. Keep a gratitude list. Cultivate spirituality. Cultivate creativity. Laugh. Learn what makes you laugh and seek it out. copyright 2011 Health Maze Navigator, Family Counseling, Inc. 15

Joni Metolius, MS, MFT, is the founder of Health Maze Navigator. Joni presents wellness seminars for corporations such as Visa International, Varian Medical, and Bank of America. She has a graduate degree in Clinical Counseling in the Industrial Setting, completing her internship at Chevron’s Employee Assistance Program. Joni has served as a committee member with California’s Registered Nursing Diversion Program. She is a published author on topics of workplace violence prevention and the aftermath of violence. Joni has a private practice in Novato, California. Her specialties include working with couples and co-workers on their communications skills; navigating the emotions of chronic and life altering medical conditions lessening the emotional residual for trauma survivors. She also has extensive experience in addiction behavior therapy and recovery from substance abuse. contact info: joni@healthmazenavigator.com (P) 415-209-9991 copyright 2011 Health Maze Navigator, Family Counseling, Inc. 16