Xmas Cards 2011

Here they are… Once again, Original Xmas Cards Complete with sound FX & music… Flock! Flock! Who’s there? Us!

The bonus idea this year was the ‘Re-gifting’ of Xmas Cards. Thanx to the 99¢ Store & a few slabs of tape this years cards appeared far more elegant.

The Nutcracker Tweet

Not everyone was down with “Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!”

Keeping Xmas consistent this year, the Wal-Mart Santa offers a Pepper spray with every shopping wish

“I Like Big Racks & I Cannot Lie…”

Madonna at Xmas Time

“And the Cattle were Lowing”

Whee! ‘Tis the Season to go Egg Noggin’!

Santa was never happy with the after Xmas Eve Celebration

The Secret Egg Nog Recipe “Wanna make egg nog?” Sure, Come on over…”

Brrrr! Aw! Oooh! La! La! La! MuFrosty & his Snow Cub…

The Harold Angels are always the loudest.

The Elf Treadmill

1 of the Singing Jingle Bells Dogs embarks on a solo career… [Tee Hee Embarks]

The Secular Fisherman

Famous Biscuit love ‘Snuffles’ can’t find the strength to float after a bite of Fruitcake

Every year people send these things out… it is their way to brag & inform loved ones & others of their very busy lives… So here’s ours…   … …. ….. I got nothing… Merry Xmas!!! T. PS: Actually… And… Now, our 2011 Xmas Letter Hit Pause To Read!!!!!

This certainly was a year of great triumphs. With my perfect picture family & cake for dinner every night, I am simply blessed & thankful for my wife, Leslie & our 3 kids, Twinkie, Binky & Hootie… & to photoshop. The kids are always sprite & jubilant & the house is always filled with cries of “Gee!” & “Golly!” & “Swell!” Our 2011 Xmas Letter Cont… Pt. 2 Hit Pause To Read!!!!! It’s also wonderful to see how well they take to retro clothing… although I think it’s time Hootie grew out of his lederhosen shorts. We spend most our weekends dying their hair brown & pretending their ours. [Sigh]

Our kitty, Ms. Jehosephat, had a litter of polka kittens. What a bonus this year to have them fill our house with screeching renditions of all the holiday favorites including their classic, ‘Roll Out the Carols.’ So far PETA has stopped by 7x. Our 2011 Xmas Letter Cont… Pt. 3 Hit Pause To Read!!!!! To save money this year we told the kids that Santa’s a ho ho hoarder! & he’ll probably keep all the goodies in his sack for himself. Also, our lovely godzilla tree helped keep the relatives away. For an authentic effect we sang Xmas carols out of synch.

I had to close My Pie Shop last June… folks were surprised when we served their pie directly into their face. What part of a clown owning a pie shop didn’t you understand? I also had a quick bout with Dicken Pox & broke out in little top hats over most of my body. Recently I got a job as a coat check guy in a bar. My job was to store the customers tiny drink umbrellas. Our 2011 Xmas Letter Cont… Pt. 4 Hit Pause To Read!!!!! As you can see my family is contining in my showbiz tradition & following in my giant clown shoe footsteps. I was quite taken back when my oldest daughter called me to the stage recently, since I rarely go to strip clubs. Her tai Bo Bo routine is excellent.

Les stays busy with little hooties free range ant farm & her button art. We support her 100% even though we suffer numerous & public impromptu pants drops & open shirt exposures. Did you know that her uncle was the human button down fly for the circus? Our 2 girls recently were in a Xmas play about egg nog called “Who Let The Nog Out”. Making the egg costumes were easy but those ‘nog’ costumes were a doozy. [The script had a lot of nog nog jokes] Our 2011 Xmas Letter Cont. Pt. 5 Hit Pause To Read!!!!!

Edited scenes: -Dancing the Electric Slide with Disco Reindeer Donner Summers -Hanukkah Karolers singing the long playing version of the Dradle song. -Rick Perry As Santa… “Ho Ho ???” Our 2011 Xmas Letter Cont. Fin. Hit Pause To Read!!!!! Anyway, I need to get the kids back to central casting… until next year… Merry Christmas every Bunny! Pre-Wifi Tree

So… Merry Xmas folks! Until next year… Get out there & buy me more stuff!

Santa ends his victorious ride Tebowing… And scene